It's been a week...

Yesterday marked one week since we said goodbye to our sweet angel Lucy Kate. I am so angry, sad, mad, hurt, and yet know how blessed I am with my family. We were anticipating the arrival of our 5th beautiful child, and another girl. We have one daughter and three boys, and were so excited to be bringing another girl into our family. So excited to finally give our daughter that sister that she longed for for so long. I started having contractions as I have with the last 3 pregnancies and went in and they were able to stop them only for them to come back within an hour of being home. So we went back in the next morning but I knew in my heart that our sweet angel was gone. I will explain more of exactly what happened in another post, another day. Now here I sit a week later and I can not recall but bits and pieces from the last week of my life, from the only few hours that I had with my angel and I am so angry about that. I am so angry that I allowed myself to block this stuff out. I just pray that one day I have it all come back to me. I have survived the first week without her, I do not know how, I do not feel myself, but I have survived something I never thought I would ever have to go through, and yet here I stand able to care for myself and my children. That I am thankful for.