The last few months.

Thank you to everyone for your support during this time in our lives.

Well, things have been hectic in our lives the last month or so. We have now moved from our old house into our new one. We love it here. We have a fenced in yard that the kids are able to go outside and play, safely, and we also have a screened in porch. Finally. It has helped me alot to be out of our old house. I knew it would help me, and thank goodness it has. In more ways then just with our sweet Lucy. We have a neighbor that has a 13,12, & 1 year old boys and a 9 year old little girl. They come over and play alot, and the kids love having them for neighbors.
I am still struggling. Thankfully the medicines are helping, and I hate being dependent on them but for now it is what it is and I am just accepting it and doing what I can and need to do to keep myself together for right now for my family. Every day I still think of Lucy. I wish so much she was here. I miss that newborn cry, and every time I hear it my body just cringes because I just wish so much it was my child crying. It seems to hit me alot more when I'm in the car. When the other kids are talking, laughing, crying... I wonder what it would be like hearing her with them. When I'm in the car I listen to "If You Could See Me Now" and watch the clouds, when I'm sitting at a stop sign or stop light. I think about my beautiful angel and just think of how peaceful things are for her, even if just for that moment things are peaceful for both of us. Then reality hits and I begin to hear the noises in the car again, and think of how blessed I am to be hearing those noises. Yes I want to hear the noises of Lucy as well, but that isn't how it is, and I am trying to find the strength, trust, & faith to be able to pick up the pieces and move forward. My kids, and my husband need me. I am doing the best that I can. It may not be where everyone else thinks I should be, but it is where I am at and that is best I can do. I am still saddened to hear Mary ask about a baby sister, and to hear Owyn say there is a baby in Mommy's tummy. But they are part of this journey and I am learning day by day to accept it.

There has been so many changes in our lives since the day we lost Lucy. To many details to get into and most of them are miniscual in comparision. I ask for prayers for our family still. We are growing stronger by the day, I feel this move was good for us. It has given us a fresh new start. But still so many things happening in our lives, that we just need the prayers. God knows our needs.

Thank you to everyone for being here for us. I will try to get back into a habit of writing in here, it truly did help. Things had just gotten so crazy I couldn't do it. Thank you :)